belated Mother's Day thoughts

On this day...I am a bit sad. A good friends little one would be celebrating her birthday. Are there birthdays in heaven? I mean....do we actually change our age from year to year as we do on earth? I know that in heaven it really doesn't matter, for every day will be celebrated in grand and glorious ways, every person will be celebrated in grand and glorious ways. But it does beg the question... is Erin 8 or is she 20? For now, I choose to ponder and be satisfied in the not knowing... for one day He will be revealed, one day I will understand, one day.

Our Ellie girl is still amazing us all. How can this little one who spent almost nine years of her life in an orphanage just one day accept that she now has a family? Oh the ways our Father has prepared her heart. Should we not be surprised that He is authoring all of this? Oh on the contrary... we know He is the author of all things, it is the taking for granted that we should lay down and the awe and mystery that we should pick up and embrace. It is the healing of our own hearts that happens when we choose to see Him that we are to embrace. Oh the mystery... He gives and takes away. It was Erin's life and death that rocked my world. The first born, the feelings that come with being a mom, the undeniable love for a child.... such a mysterious concept, and then after only 9 short years... gone. But He gives life again... three more times. Each and every time more healing has occurred, not only in this mom, but also in Alex and in Ray. Our Father has a plan. We can push, pull, prod, jump, shout, refuse.... but He is the author of our lives. He knows what we need.... He knows what we will give... He knows how the story unfolds. So with that I say Thank You Father for being chosen to suffer. For it is only in our suffering and the hope of heaven that we really see you... that we truly embrace all that is lovely.

I love being a mom! I fail miserably at it sometimes... but I pray that somehow my kids know how much they are loved... and that I would do just about anything for them. I can't fathom a better job...

Easter 2009...Ellie prayed to receive Christ

I continue to be amazed by this little one that Our Heavenly Father placed in our family. Ellie had surgery on Tuesday April 9th. The doctor not only repositioned her left eye, but also was able to harvest bone from her skull and begin the reconstruction on her nose as well. Her body has responded so well...she was able to come home after just 3 nights in the hospital. She cannot be bumped in the head or face for several months and infection is also an issue...so we are home with her for a while. Once she can go out, she has to be very careful...so no PE or recess at school. We have even had to tell our other kids no horsing around at home...flailing arms may accidentally hit Ellie. For now, she is fine to just watch the others play.

This morning Ellie and I stayed home while Ray took the others to our Easter Sunrise Service. Ellie and I watched the last hour of The Jesus Film. Ellie was so enthralled by the movie. She didn't understand why anyone would want to kill Jesus. At the end of the movie an explanation of the movie is given and there is an invitation to receive Christ. Ellie prayed....and received Christ. I know there is a lot that she doesn't understand...but then again, there is a lot that I do not understand. Thank you Father for your love for Ellie!

Hope...what an amazing word. Elliana...Hebrew for-the lord has spoken. Xiaowang...Chinese for- to know or to show hope. God has given us an amazing little girl who knows hope in ways that most do not ever understand. The hope that she knows radiates from her all the time. Thank you Father for choosing our family for Ellie. Thank you Father for choosing Ellie to be your daughter.

A little over 11 years ago Erin went home to Jesus. She knew him...she knew she was His daughter. Today Alex, David, Keeli and Ellie know Him too. I mourn for the loss of Erin...but not without hope. For one day I will see Jesus face, I will know Him in ways that now I can only imagine. One day I will see Erin again. One day David, Ellie and Keeli will get to meet their sister and Alex will once again see her best friend. But until tlhat day....I know my Savior lives...He lives for each of us...He has called all of my family to be his own...our hope lies in Him and Him alone. Praise be to God....blessed by His name!

Ellie's Home....days early

Ellie is such an awesome patient...she is now home!!! What a surprise! To God be the glory. Her recovery has obviously gone really well. She will now be home (literally) until we see Dr. Kelly again on April 20th. Infection is a big issue as well as not getting bumped in the head or on the face. So...please pray for her to be able to stay calm (she is normally very active), for her not to get sick, and the incision site to remain healthy. Many blessings to all who have prayed for her. May you all have a glorious weekend celebrating our Saviour's resurrection.

yeah Ellie....surgery went well

Ellie's surgery went really well. She spent a couple of days in PICU and just moved to a regular room this morning. She will probably be here at Vanderbilt until Monday.
Thanks for all your prayers.

The first big surgery

Ellie's surgery is Tuesday. Tomorrow we get to do the lovely pre-op. Ellie hates to be stuck by needles so this could be rather interesting. The surgery is Tuesday at 7:30 am. It is scheduled for 8 hours....a long day awaits. Ellie will be in ICU for 24-48 hours and then in a room for another 3-5 days. She will look pretty rough for a while....a lot of facial swelling and probably black eyes, as well as an incision on the top of her head. Many of you know our story and saw Alex right after our accident 11 years ago. Needless to say this will be a bit hard on me...but I also know that God loves this momma and this too is all a part of His healing within me. Vanderbilt is an incredible place and this time we are there for a positive reason. Many of you have been reading my blog since I started writing over a year ago...Thank you all for your continual prayers and support. God has this family on an amazing journey that could only be scripted by Him...thank you for being a part of our journey.

smiles, smiles, and more smiles

It has been six months since Dang XiaoWang officially became Elliana Xiaowang Mullican. Six months...oh the things that change in six months time. On September 8, 2008 God blessed our family with a quiet, soft spoken, little girl. Today that little girl takes command of every room that she enters.
She is full of life, has a huge smile, does not meet a stranger, wants to know about everyone and everything and when she leaves a room, everyone in it knew that she was there. Ellie delights in life. She is passionate about all that she does, whether it is school or playing.
I am not sure what she will grow up to be...but suffice it to say that whatever it is...she will be passionate about it.


Ellie continues to thrive at school. She is learning so quickly. She is speaking English so well. Most people just assume that she was speaking at least some English while in China. She also has an amazing memory so her written language skills and math skills are coming along quickly as well. I was driving by the school today and saw Ellie playing with her friends on the playground. I had tears in my eyes as I watched this beautiful little girl play soccer with the other kids. It was as if she had always been in our family, always been a part of this group of school kids, always been seen as a "part of the group" as opposed to a misfit with a facial deformity. God has been so gracious. She, to my knowledge, has never been made fun of at school. She has always been accepted as the beautiful little girl that God created her to be.

We could use your prayers... Ellie is having surgery on April 7th. This surgery will basically move her eye in closer toward her nose.
They will have to cut her from ear to ear to perform the surgery (thus cutting down on scaring on her face. There will be enough of that later when they reshape her nose.)She will be in the hospital for 5-7 days and then be home from school for about 2 weeks. We hate for her to miss school but she will not be able to swim (due to potential infection) for about 8 weeks and we do not want to ruin her summer. She loved the beach and pool when we were in Destin over Christmas and is antsy for summer to get here. She really wants to learn to swim. We have been teased here in Franklin these past few days with 70 plus degree weather. It has been so fun to see the kids outside playing barefoot until there is no more daylight (about 7 pm since the time has changed).
We would covet your prayers in both the actual surgery and the healing so Ellie can play again soon. Although I am anxious about the surgery, I know that God holds this little one in the palm of his hand. He created her, every part of her. Thank you Father for Ellie. Thank you that she is surrounded by love. Thank you for doctors who have studied for years in order to perform surgeries such as this. Thank You.

the delight of a child

So sorry for the lull in posting. It is amazing how life just takes hold of you and the next thing you know, months have passed. Ellie continues to be just a little girl who loves life. If you didn't know her story you would think she was a normal nine year old who just so happened to be chinese. Her verbal skills continue to flourish, she compensates very well for the lack of sight in her left eye, she is an extrovert who knows no strangers, and the list goes on.
Christmas...oh Christmas...or as she calls it "birthday party for Jesus". It was a gift for us all to see this little one so excited about every little gift that EVERYONE received. It made no difference who the gift was for or how big or small it was, she was elated. She loved the tree, she loved the lights, she loved wrapping gifts, she loved singing carols, she loved being with family, she loved the food, she loved it all!! She loves the celebration that involves "Jesus Birthday". She knows that we pray to our Heavenly Father, she knows that Jesus is God's son, she knows that our Father created everything, including her, she knows that we love her "from the dirt to the sky", she knows that God loves her more than we do, she knows she has a sister in Heaven (who would be twenty this week)...the ground work is being laid...please continue to pray that these things she knows in her head will soon and very soon reach her heart. Oh...a praise...Keeli prayed on Saturday evening to our Father in Heaven to be forgiven of her sins and for Him to be her eternal Savior. Thank you Father!


After Christmas we took a family trip to Mimi and Poppa's condo at the beach. A little girl of nine who has never seen the ocean, felt the warm sand between her toes, or walked on the waters edge looking for sea shells was an experience to behold. Every morning her first question was, "Are we going to play on the beach today?" To her delight, the answer was a resounding yes on all but one day (due to rain and only 52 degree weather). So, the Mullican clan of six enjoyed a christmas break with dad off work for 12 days with much laughter, many new experiences, some fussing (of course, four kids are involved), warm sunny days at the beach, and much more bonding time as God continues to show our family His love through all He created and through the experiences of this life. I am a blessed mom! We are a blessed family! To experience the delight of a child is something that can only be authored by our Father.

Ellie, according to the opthalmologist, is totally blind in her left eye. The cleft in her face extends into her eye and caused a nonforming of much of that eye. The matter that is there is very healthy, just not the normal receptors in order to see. What does this mean? She will wear glasses for the rest of her life to protect her "good" eye (also needing glasses to correct her vision and for astigmatism). The good news is that a prosthetic eye is not necessary, even better news, she is not really even aware that she was supposed to see out of that eye. She compensates very well!

We have an appointment with the cranial facial surgeon on Wednesday. I will update then as to what we find out should be our next course of action. From what we do know, her brain is very healthy with no effects from the cleft.

Thank you Father for the blessing of Ellie into our home, into our hearts...
(this photo is very indicative of of these two...Ellie has an incredibly special bond with her father)