Our Ellie girl is still amazing us all. How can this little one who spent almost nine years of her life in an orphanage just one day accept that she now has a family? Oh the ways our Father has prepared her heart. Should we not be surprised that He is authoring all of this? Oh on the contrary... we know He is the author of all things, it is the taking for granted that we should lay down and the awe and mystery that we should pick up and embrace. It is the healing of our own hearts that happens when we choose to see Him that we are to embrace. Oh the mystery... He gives and takes away. It was Erin's life and death that rocked my world. The first born, the feelings that come with being a mom, the undeniable love for a child.... such a mysterious concept, and then after only 9 short years... gone. But He gives life again... three more times. Each and every time more healing has occurred, not only in this mom, but also in Alex and in Ray. Our Father has a plan. We can push, pull, prod, jump, shout, refuse.... but He is the author of our lives. He knows what we need.... He knows what we will give... He knows how the story unfolds. So with that I say Thank You Father for being chosen to suffer. For it is only in our suffering and the hope of heaven that we really see you... that we truly embrace all that is lovely.
I love being a mom! I fail miserably at it sometimes... but I pray that somehow my kids know how much they are loved... and that I would do just about anything for them. I can't fathom a better job...
